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Sun, Mar. 30th, 2008, 11:00 pm

ive been feeling shitty the past few weeks. i dont know whats up with me. i very much like to be left alone for the most part and ive spending my money like i have no reason to save. i need a smack and some new people to have fun with.

Tue, Feb. 26th, 2008, 08:08 pm

i wanna go back to vegas badly. i miss it. i miss the girls acting like girls and not sluts. and i miss the boys...one boy. i miss me feeling like i could just be me and not worry how drunk i need to be to get by. but if i go. i miss him so much more. i still cant believe that im doing this to myself after all this time. move on stupid.

Tue, Feb. 12th, 2008, 11:06 pm
all i really wanted to know, i learned in kindergarten

Most of what I really need to know about how to live, and what to do, and hope to be, I learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain, but there is the sandbox at nursery school.

these are the things i learned: share everything. play fair. dont hit people. put things back where you found them. clean up your mess. dont take things that aren't yours. say youre sorry when you hurt somebody. wash your hands before you eat. flush. warm cookies and cold milk are good for you. live a balanced life. learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.

take a nap every afternoon. when you go out into the world, watch for traffic, hold hands and stick together. be aware of wonder. remember the little seed in the cup. the roots go down and the plants go up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that.

goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the cup- they all die. so do we.

and then remember the book about dick and jane and the first word you learned, the biggest word of all: LOOK.

everything you need to know is there somewhere. the golden rule and love and basic sanitation. ecology and politics and sane living.

think of what a better world it would be if we all - the whole world - had cookies and milk about 3 o'clock every afternoon and then lay down with our blankets for a nap. or if we had a basic policy in our nation and other nations to always put things back where we found them and clean up after our own messes.

and it is still true, no matter how old you are, when you go out into the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together.





i saw this in my old advisor office at UNLV and stole it cause it thought it was precious to think this way. i found it in my pile of papers in the corner of my room.

Tue, Feb. 12th, 2008, 05:42 pm

jorina, polaroid decided to stop making their camera and film! of course i thought of you right away and it made me sad. im gonna go buy some film and enjoy it while time is left =/ i love polaroid, if it wasnt so expensive, i use it more than digital ha

Mon, Feb. 11th, 2008, 11:58 pm

sometimes i just miss you so much. bring a date to my birthday. and ill show you how strong i can be. and ill be all dress up, looking somewhat decent, and....nah you wont miss me. sometimes i really think im just fooling myself when i think its never over.

Mon, Feb. 11th, 2008, 02:39 pm
this defines me right now

From the moment the lights went off
Everything had changed
Lie awake in an empty room
In my head it all feels the same

Like the taste of the day you left
That still lingers on my breath
And the dampness of tears that left
A stain where you had wept

All alone with the negligee
That still hangs off of my bed
I keep meaning to give it away
But I just leave it there instead

No need to cry about it
I cannot live without it
Every time I wind up back at your door

Why do you do this to me?
You penetrate right through me
Every time I wind up back at your door

3 more days til I see your face
I’m afraid it’s far too much
Cook a meal and fix up the place
Dial your number, hang it up

If I took you for granted
I apologize for acting tough
You’re my reason for living
And there’s no way I’m giving up, oh

Don’t need to cry about it
I cannot live without it
Every time I wind up back at your door

Why do you do this to me?
You penetrate right through me
Every time I wind up back at your door

Now every evening is a bitter fight
And I’m eating home alone on a Friday night
I know what your friends say
“You’re just wasting your love and time”
I will never let you change your mind

No need to cry about it
I cannot live without it
Every time I wind up back at your door

Why do you do this to me?
You penetrate right through me
Every time I wind up back at your door

No need to cry about it
I may just die without it
Every time I wind up back at your door

Why do you do this to me?
You penetrate right through me
Every time I wind up back at your door

Every time I wind up back at your door
Every time I wind up back at your door

Tue, Feb. 5th, 2008, 10:49 pm

i must make this friend thing work. but today, when we talked, and you asked me what i was doing friday, i got too excited. and then i went online, and saw you were hanging out with the one i cannot stand, eh it got to me haha love how jennie called me today, and basically said oh if you guys are gonna get back together, you gotta start somewhere and be friends, cause thats how it gotta work. i dont know, but im gonna try my hardest that i ever tried, not to be dramatic, not to be jealous, not to care like that, but to be your friend.


work is filling up my time. and i like that. i need the money. and the distraction.

Mon, Feb. 4th, 2008, 01:58 am

i know you love me. but lets try this friendship first. i know we can do it. besides, we're not right for each other. for now.

im sick of my friends that believe that they can talk trash to me about my boy, but that their situation is different. i take in what everyone says and listen and honestly with the appropriate advice try it but at the same time let them know that they dont know because theyre not part of the relationship. but the moment i tried to give them advice and just warn them, im outta line. fuck that. go ruin your life. i know every relationship is different and i never try to understand anyone else, but be there as a shoulder. im done with everyone's pathetic drama with their so called significant other.its a joke. it really is.


oh, im gonna post pics soon of my tattos. photobooth is being gay. my new one is healing up weird.

Tue, Jan. 29th, 2008, 12:08 am

i love the guys at the tattoo palor.i want to make out with dj. haha hes cute. and the manager is dope. yeah i got another tattoo. its addicting. anyways. i love my asianmomma, always taking care of me. this reminds me that my birthday is soon. im not a teen anymore. ha i dont what it suppose to mean

Tue, Jan. 22nd, 2008, 01:22 am

at least you admitted to me that you wanted to see me. and you responded to what i had to say even though you were mad. i dont know why things are the way they are. none of it makes any sort of sense and i dont want to be with you, i wish you would understand that. but something in me just says...there something..maybe.

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